I am commemorating my 1st year in Mozambique by stealing Brenna’s list idea:
A Year in Numbers:
-12 Months in Mozambique
- 25 books read
- 6 beaches visited
- 12 packages received (thank you, they’ve been wonderful!)
- 8 pulgas found in my feet (8 too many)
- 3,618 tests corrected (and that is not an exaggeration)
- 10 days arrived at school NOT sweaty and disgusting
- 50 lessons given in Portuguese
- 4 times kitchen has been broken into
- 1 time peed over the side of a sail boat (not an easy task)
- Countless over the top texts received professing strangers’ love.

We finished with final exams this week. Here are some highlights of my favorite cheating methods:
-Notes on the hand
-Notes under a skirt or capulana
-Passing around scratch paper with answers
-The whole class waiting until the last second to turn in tests so that everyone can talk and copy when everyone turns them in at once
-Holding up the test in front of the face, to look over answers, allowing everyone behind to copy, like cheating dominos.
-Aaaand…my all time favorite… the fake snake scare. One kid yelled and jumped up and cried ‘snake,’ everyone freaked out and had a good 2 minutes of laughing and sharing answers before things got back to normal.

Last weekend, hoards of people descended upon the beautiful town of Quissico to enjoy a timbila music festival. Timbila is an instrument that is a lot like a xylophone. They have them in all different sizes and it is accompanied with rhythmic colorful dancing. I would fail a creative writing course. How about you just look at the pictures. Anyways, it was an awesome weekend, but it would have been even more enjoyable had I not tried to sleep in dry contacts, thus scratching my cornea, forgotten my glasses at home and been blind all weekend.

It is almost the end of the school year already!! It’s flying by, but it can’t come fast enough. My Portuguese is getting better, but the students are getting more and more crazy. I have come to the conclusion that the only way to be an effective teacher here is by being a bitch. If you try to be nice and smile or joke around, they just completely take advantage and everyone starts talking and once 70 kids start talking, you’ve lost and they’ve won. So lately, my classroom has not been very much fun. I can’t believe some of the things that come out of my mouth (“Are you here to play or are you here to learn?” “I am not your mother, I do not care if someone stole your cassava”…etc), but, they are paying a little bit more attention and I am not going insane. I am nice to the students when they talk to me outside of class!

Becky had a friend that was going to come visit, so we planned a Swaziland trip. She was unable to make it, but now we’re all excited about Swazi, so we’re going to go anyway. It will be a quick little trip, but we’re staying in a wildlife sanctuary, so I’m going to see some real animals! And we are going shopping at the Shoprite!! Never would I have thought I could be so excited about shopping in a place that resembles a Walmart, but I am so pumped!

Finally, free time! I haven’t written for a while, so I’ll try to write about everything that’s been happening.
- Ferrias:
During our school trimester break from school, I got together with some friends I haven’t seen since training, and we spent some time relaxing and catching up. I won’t bore you all with tales of the amazing tropical beaches (sleeping in hammocks, amazing seafood, canoeing through mangroves, blah blah..) Also, people seem to get mad if I talk too much about these things. I’m in Peace Corps and supposed to be having a rough life all the time?

- Science Fair:
This has been sucking up all of my time and energy the last few weeks. Becky and I were the organizers of the Southern Regional Science Fair this year. It was certainly a lesson in patience and flexibility. Planning big events here is quite different than event planning in the U.S. First, when you set up meetings, this does not mean anything. More often than not, the other person doesn’t show, or shows up an hour late. Also, when planning a big educational event, all the right people have to be invited in the right order, as not to offend anyone. Figuring out the hierarchy of the local government was challenging, and I am so grateful for another volunteer in the area for helping to invite everyone and tell them about the event. I was so paranoid about messing up and using the wrong nonformal verb tense or something and pissing them off so they wouldn’t come to the fair. Another thing I learned was that just because a person agrees to do something does not mean they will follow through. I had so many last minute cancellations or people who just didn’t show up. So this was all the pre-fair drama.

For the actual event, we had 41 students from 14 different high schools participate. All of the students did projects using the scientific method and made expositions. Each school also did an HIV/AIDS poster, since all of our funding comes from PEPFAR. There were also a few different health organizations that set up booths and a group doing HIV testing. We had a great theater group who did a presentation about discrimination of HIV positive people. Not all of our judges showed up like they were supposed to, but some peace corps volunteers stepped up and helped us out. There were some really interesting and creative projects, I was very impressed. The girl from our school won 2nd place! All in all, I think all of the kids had a great time. They especially liked their certificates (this country is certificate CRAZY - ha apparently Honduras is too, Brenna). One of my favorite parts was the cake cutting ceremony. Not just because it included cake. We had 3 giant cakes. I was at one of the cakes along with 2 of the winners. First, everyone has to take lots of pictures of the cakes with their cell phones, and then, wedding cake cutting style, on the count of three, you all cut the cake and everyone cheers. I just think its so funny and the students all took it so seriously. So! Science fair is all done and it is the best feeling ever and I am very proud of all the work Becky and I and the other volunteers did to make it all happen.

Science Fair!
We held our school science fair a couple weeks ago and I was really happy with how it went. Becky and I have been meeting with the students for about a month, developing their projects or experiments using the scientific method. Buuut of course, the bulk of the work was done in the days before fair. We had a couple projects on electricity, a couple on plants, one on chickens. They came up with some pretty cool projects for really not having much to work with. On the day of the fair, we had 6 students present projects. We had a good number of parents, other students, teachers, and the director of the school that all showed up. While I don’t think it quite lived up to the director’s high expeectations, (what? No sound system, cultural dances and ministry officials present??) the kids all had a good time and I think we’ll have a lot more people participating next year. This was a really rewarding project to be part of. The kids were genuinely interested in science (which is a refreshing change from the blank stares I get every day in the classroom) and the kids were all proud of their final products. Next up, we’re bringing two of our students with us to the regional science fair in August. Becky and I are also planning this, which is a much more daunting task than the school fair. Now I just need to find where they sell crepe paper and funfetti cake in Mozambique and we will be set!

2nd tri is over! And I am so happy for that. I need a break. Teaching is not getting any easier. You know when you were a kid and someone is pushing really really fast on a merry-go-round and your feet fly out behind you and you’re holding on for dear life? That’s kind of what it’s felt like the past few weeks every time I go into the classroom. And so, I’m going to the beach. Be back in a few weeks and hopefully it’ll get better!

The kitchen thief has struck again! Here’s the back story on the kitchen thief:

A few months ago, we woke up one morning, the find someone had climbed through an opening in our reed kitchen and stolen a bunch of random things (see earlier blog). Please keep in mind that one of the items was chicken stock. So our landlord who is so helpful and I love him is out there the next day nailing another board on to block off that hole and he put some mesh fencing stuff up as well. So I’m thinking our kitchen is pretty secure now, plus we got Rama the dog to guard the house now.

A month later… woken up in the middle of the night with Rama going crazy barking. Becky and I wake up, look outside, and see someone standing on the wall that fences in our yard, reaching into the kitchen and grabbing things from a 6 inch gap in the kitchen. So this guy has the dog barking at him…nothing. Then Becky and I start yelling at him to go away…nothing. We didn’t want to go out there, because it’s the middle of the night and we’re huge wimps, so instead we wake up our land lord and he comes over and the kitchen thief runs away. This time, the stolen goods are: cinnamon, yeast, curry powder, and cumin. Next day, landlord is out adding the fencing material to the other side of the kitchen to block off this gap as well. I am now convinced our kitchen is secure.

Last night…woken up in the middle of the night with Rama barking. I get up, look out the window, don’t see anything. He keeps barking , so Becky and I go outside to investigate. We don’t see anything and I’m convinced that people were just passing by and Rama was barking at them. So we both go back inside and eventually Rama stops barking. Wake up the next morning only to find a HOLE cut into our reed kitchen right at the level of our shelf with the spices! What is missing you ask? A Tupperware of delicious spices from home, garlic powder, red pepper flakes and more curry. I am so mad!

So what do we know about the kitchen thief? Assuming all 3 incidences are the same person, and I believe they are, I have amassed the following information: Young male (the one time when we saw him it was definitely a male and he had to be sort of small to fit through the first hole), not intimidated by dogs, or a couple of girls yelling from inside the house, really into spices, obviously. I have a clear footprint. All day today, I’ve been obsessed with examining the footprints of everyone that passes, I keep thinking he’s just going to walk by! I’m starting to think this is just a personal attack on Becky and me. This person is going through a lot of effort just to steal our spices, which are like our favorite thing. No one even uses spices in their food here besides chicken stock! So I really want to catch this person. Any ideas? Tonight, with the hole still in the side of the kitchen, I left a very harsh note for the kitchen thief. And a half a packet of chicken stock.

We also had our science fair this weekend and it went really well, but I am just way too worked up about our spices, so that will have to wait for a different post.

I promised a few people I would keep them updated on any nasty creepy crawlies that I acquire here. So far it’s been pleasantly uneventful. But here’s a little anecdote.

I noticed a few days ago that one of my toes was a little bit sore. I check it out, and there’s a little bit of a what looks like a blood blister near the nail, so I assume that I stubbed it, and thought nothing more of it. The next day, it was still hurting, and the pain was a little worse, which led me to believe it was not a mere stubbed toe I was dealing with. So our cleaning lady/friend Regina is over doing her thing, and I’m like ‘Regina, what’s going on with my toe?’ She takes one look at it, starts cracking up, and says ‘E uma pulga! E grande esta pulga!’

Everyone has warned me about pulgas, apparently, when the cold arrives, all 70 degrees F of it, so do these little bugs. They’re about the size of a grain of sand and when you walk in the sand, they can get into your toenails. Apparently everyone gets them, our neighbor boy loooves to tell us stories of how the volunteer before us got pulgas and thought he had to go the hospital and everyone laughed at him.
So back to Regina. She’s still going on about how this pulga is huuuge and why did I not come to her earlier and it is eating good in my foot, on and on… And I’m like ‘just get it out! That’s disgusting!’ So she goes away , still laughing, and comes back with a crab claw and tells me to sit down. She takes my foot and begins to tear away all the skin in like a half cm range of the tiny blood blister thing.

R:Oooh yeah, it’s a big one, it’s sucking the blood, yes it is
S: Oooww
R: HAHAHA she’s going to cry (then speaking to her 4 year old daughter) just like you, when I pulled out your pulga!
S: I am not going to cry but is it really necessary to remove a chunk of my skin?
R:Oooh, here come the children!
S (look down to see white puss stuff coming out of my toe, can’t even explain how gross it was)
R: There it is! Yes, that’s a big one, it was eating good!

And she pulled this white slug type thing out of my toe, leaving a huge bloody cavity at the top of my toe that is going to take forever to heal. So that is my first gross Africa bug living inside me story. But have many more pulgas to look forward to in my time here, apparently! Still not as gross as Brenna’s Giardia. Sick.

I’ve been in a list making mood lately, so here’s some of what’s been on my mind.
Stuff I miss from home:
-Peanut M&Ms
-Delivery pizza
-Starbucks
-Reality Television
-Resources! I miss the library so much.
-Dressing up to go out
-Happy hour
-Wireless internet
-Haircuts
-Going to a gym. Or not having people stare at you when you’re working out.
-Celebrating holidays and birthdays
-Oh yeah, and I guess I miss my family and friends…just a little bit..

Why I love it here:
-People wear shirts with ridiculously inappropriate English words/sayings (old lady in the market “too hot to handle”, kid at school trying to look all gangster complete with bling wearing a girls shirt declaring ‘sporty chick’)
-Helpful people, if my students see me carrying anything, they always offer to help
-Beautiful trees, perfect beaches
-Heated arguments that end in the exclamation ‘pa!’
-Awkward conversations that end in “estamos juntos”
-Kids can make toys out of ANYTHING
-Everyone can dance so well! I think they come dancing out of the womb…
-People shouting bad English “I am FINE and YOOOU.” And just laughing if you respond.
-10 second phone conversations are perfectly acceptable, even desirable! When you’re using prepaid phone credit, you say what you need to say and you get off the phone. I like this.
-Everyone holds hands. Not at all weird to see two guys holding hands and walking to school. It makes me smile.

Changes, for better or for worse…
-I will be the cheapest person ever when I get home. Living on a Peace Corps budget is definitely taking its toll.
-I’ve become such a litterbug. There are no garbage cans here or waste disposal system. I now just throw things on the ground and don’t even flinch about it anymore. Probably not a good habit to bring home.
-I love cooking, it is amazing how happy food makes me here. And I have a whole new appreciation for in season fruits and veggies.
-I think every guy that I meet to is hitting on me. But to be fair, they usually are. I think I’m going to be really full of myself when I go home. And then it’ll all be crushed when no one is offering to marry me on a daily basis.