The kitchen thief has struck again! Here’s the back story on the kitchen thief:

A few months ago, we woke up one morning, the find someone had climbed through an opening in our reed kitchen and stolen a bunch of random things (see earlier blog). Please keep in mind that one of the items was chicken stock. So our landlord who is so helpful and I love him is out there the next day nailing another board on to block off that hole and he put some mesh fencing stuff up as well. So I’m thinking our kitchen is pretty secure now, plus we got Rama the dog to guard the house now.

A month later… woken up in the middle of the night with Rama going crazy barking. Becky and I wake up, look outside, and see someone standing on the wall that fences in our yard, reaching into the kitchen and grabbing things from a 6 inch gap in the kitchen. So this guy has the dog barking at him…nothing. Then Becky and I start yelling at him to go away…nothing. We didn’t want to go out there, because it’s the middle of the night and we’re huge wimps, so instead we wake up our land lord and he comes over and the kitchen thief runs away. This time, the stolen goods are: cinnamon, yeast, curry powder, and cumin. Next day, landlord is out adding the fencing material to the other side of the kitchen to block off this gap as well. I am now convinced our kitchen is secure.

Last night…woken up in the middle of the night with Rama barking. I get up, look out the window, don’t see anything. He keeps barking , so Becky and I go outside to investigate. We don’t see anything and I’m convinced that people were just passing by and Rama was barking at them. So we both go back inside and eventually Rama stops barking. Wake up the next morning only to find a HOLE cut into our reed kitchen right at the level of our shelf with the spices! What is missing you ask? A Tupperware of delicious spices from home, garlic powder, red pepper flakes and more curry. I am so mad!

So what do we know about the kitchen thief? Assuming all 3 incidences are the same person, and I believe they are, I have amassed the following information: Young male (the one time when we saw him it was definitely a male and he had to be sort of small to fit through the first hole), not intimidated by dogs, or a couple of girls yelling from inside the house, really into spices, obviously. I have a clear footprint. All day today, I’ve been obsessed with examining the footprints of everyone that passes, I keep thinking he’s just going to walk by! I’m starting to think this is just a personal attack on Becky and me. This person is going through a lot of effort just to steal our spices, which are like our favorite thing. No one even uses spices in their food here besides chicken stock! So I really want to catch this person. Any ideas? Tonight, with the hole still in the side of the kitchen, I left a very harsh note for the kitchen thief. And a half a packet of chicken stock.

We also had our science fair this weekend and it went really well, but I am just way too worked up about our spices, so that will have to wait for a different post.

I promised a few people I would keep them updated on any nasty creepy crawlies that I acquire here. So far it’s been pleasantly uneventful. But here’s a little anecdote.

I noticed a few days ago that one of my toes was a little bit sore. I check it out, and there’s a little bit of a what looks like a blood blister near the nail, so I assume that I stubbed it, and thought nothing more of it. The next day, it was still hurting, and the pain was a little worse, which led me to believe it was not a mere stubbed toe I was dealing with. So our cleaning lady/friend Regina is over doing her thing, and I’m like ‘Regina, what’s going on with my toe?’ She takes one look at it, starts cracking up, and says ‘E uma pulga! E grande esta pulga!’

Everyone has warned me about pulgas, apparently, when the cold arrives, all 70 degrees F of it, so do these little bugs. They’re about the size of a grain of sand and when you walk in the sand, they can get into your toenails. Apparently everyone gets them, our neighbor boy loooves to tell us stories of how the volunteer before us got pulgas and thought he had to go the hospital and everyone laughed at him.
So back to Regina. She’s still going on about how this pulga is huuuge and why did I not come to her earlier and it is eating good in my foot, on and on… And I’m like ‘just get it out! That’s disgusting!’ So she goes away , still laughing, and comes back with a crab claw and tells me to sit down. She takes my foot and begins to tear away all the skin in like a half cm range of the tiny blood blister thing.

R:Oooh yeah, it’s a big one, it’s sucking the blood, yes it is
S: Oooww
R: HAHAHA she’s going to cry (then speaking to her 4 year old daughter) just like you, when I pulled out your pulga!
S: I am not going to cry but is it really necessary to remove a chunk of my skin?
R:Oooh, here come the children!
S (look down to see white puss stuff coming out of my toe, can’t even explain how gross it was)
R: There it is! Yes, that’s a big one, it was eating good!

And she pulled this white slug type thing out of my toe, leaving a huge bloody cavity at the top of my toe that is going to take forever to heal. So that is my first gross Africa bug living inside me story. But have many more pulgas to look forward to in my time here, apparently! Still not as gross as Brenna’s Giardia. Sick.

I’ve been in a list making mood lately, so here’s some of what’s been on my mind.
Stuff I miss from home:
-Peanut M&Ms
-Delivery pizza
-Starbucks
-Reality Television
-Resources! I miss the library so much.
-Dressing up to go out
-Happy hour
-Wireless internet
-Haircuts
-Going to a gym. Or not having people stare at you when you’re working out.
-Celebrating holidays and birthdays
-Oh yeah, and I guess I miss my family and friends…just a little bit..

Why I love it here:
-People wear shirts with ridiculously inappropriate English words/sayings (old lady in the market “too hot to handle”, kid at school trying to look all gangster complete with bling wearing a girls shirt declaring ‘sporty chick’)
-Helpful people, if my students see me carrying anything, they always offer to help
-Beautiful trees, perfect beaches
-Heated arguments that end in the exclamation ‘pa!’
-Awkward conversations that end in “estamos juntos”
-Kids can make toys out of ANYTHING
-Everyone can dance so well! I think they come dancing out of the womb…
-People shouting bad English “I am FINE and YOOOU.” And just laughing if you respond.
-10 second phone conversations are perfectly acceptable, even desirable! When you’re using prepaid phone credit, you say what you need to say and you get off the phone. I like this.
-Everyone holds hands. Not at all weird to see two guys holding hands and walking to school. It makes me smile.

Changes, for better or for worse…
-I will be the cheapest person ever when I get home. Living on a Peace Corps budget is definitely taking its toll.
-I’ve become such a litterbug. There are no garbage cans here or waste disposal system. I now just throw things on the ground and don’t even flinch about it anymore. Probably not a good habit to bring home.
-I love cooking, it is amazing how happy food makes me here. And I have a whole new appreciation for in season fruits and veggies.
-I think every guy that I meet to is hitting on me. But to be fair, they usually are. I think I’m going to be really full of myself when I go home. And then it’ll all be crushed when no one is offering to marry me on a daily basis.

It is finally starting to cool down here! By cool down, I mean pleasant at night and 75-80 during the day. According to everyone here, ‘the cold has arrived’ and people are wearing fleeces with snowflakes and full on winter jackets. Worse than Arizonians, I swear.

School is going alright. This tri I started to teach balancing equations, which is really hard to teach to such a big group. If they aren’t paying attention, which at any point in time, about half the class isn’t, they have no clue how to do it, and it’s hard to get around to 70 different kids and check if they’re getting it. So if anyone has any great ideas for teaching balancing eqns, send them my way! I also taught about moles this week. 6.02 x 10^23! So all in all, an exciting few weeks in my classroom! We’ve had a couple meetings for science fair which have mostly just been frustrating. I have a bunch of students and a couple teachers that say they’re interested or want to help, but then like 2 people show up to the meetings. I’m thinking about bribing them with baked goods. Which brings me to my next point…

We got on oven! Totally changed my life! Just knowing that I can make cake whenever I want is such a great feeling. So needless to say, there has been a lot of baking going on. Other than that, really not a whole lot happening. I’ve been reading some good books - Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight and The Sister were recent enjoyable reads. I have a lot of pictures posted on my facebook account because it’s easier to post them there, let me know if you want the link! Thanks for all the letters and packages, I love getting mail!

Once again, so much happening, not enough transition words. Back to my favorite format for this blog.

- My Birthday Party:
Thanks everyone for all the birthday wishes, cards and packages! I am currently sipping coffee out of my new French press; life is good! So when Mozambicans usually have parties, they go all out. We attended our neighbor’s anniversary party the night before my birthday party, and they had 4 kinds of meat, 2 kinds of cake, juice, sodas, and beer. Needless to say, I was a little intimidated. And too poor for that kind of party. So I threw an American bday party instead. Becky and I made a million tortillas, tons of guacamole, and hummus and borrowed an oven to make some delicious bday cake. We blew up some balloons, put on some Michael Jackson, and the kids started rolling in. I think my party was about 90% neighborhood kids, but that’s a pretty accurate representation of my friend base here. We played little kid party games like relay races and musical chairs. A couple of my teacher friends from school eventually showed up so that was really nice. And no one complained that I didn’t slaughter a pig for the occasion! It was definitely different not being around family and friends from home, but thanks to my roommate and my friends here, I had a great day!

- DIVING:
During the break from school, I got scuba certified with a couple other volunteers. It was awesome! A lot of the other volunteers had been telling us how great the diving was here in Mozambique, and I figured if I was going to live an hour away from it, I’d regret it later if I didn’t take advantage of it. So 4 days in the pool and 2 DVDs of great instructional training videos later, I am officially open water certified! We did 4 ocean dives during that time, and saw sooo many cool fish, shrimp, and coral. During one dive, we saw a huge manta ray, and he just swam around us for like 5 minutes!

- REDES Conference
Raparigas Em Desenvolvemento, Educacao, e Saude (Girls in Development, Education, and Health) is a Peace Corps Mozambique project that has been going on for many years. A group was started at my school by a previous volunteer about 5 years ago, so I get to work with them while I’m here. It’s really nice having a group already started, because I have a very capable counterpart who knows a lot more about what the group does that I do! So we had a week long conference at Barra Beach where 3 of the girls from our school got to go and learn about all sorts of fun stuff from menstrual cycles to how to continue to higher education to HIV/AIDS. It kind of reminded me of leadership retreats I went to in middle school, except all of these girls were waay more into it than I was. So even though I thought the ‘say no to sexual abuse’ cheer was annoying, all of the girls loved it. The conference culminated with a guest appearance by someone who deserves her very own bullet point.

- My New Best Celebrity Friend, Dama do Bling
She’s sort of like the Beyonce slash Lil’ Kim of Mozambique. Everyone knows who she is and is obsessed with her. I had heard her music, but didn’t really know that much about her, but obviously, when they needed a volunteer to pick her up from the airport, my friend Emma (a diehard fan) and myself gladly offered our services. So we pick her and her husband up from the airport and people instantly recognize her, thanks to the big blonde hair. This one little kid is peering in the window and exclaims “Dama do Bling is in da hood!’ When they came outside, there was literally a flock of children just following and staring. Bling (that’s what she wants people to call her; I found this hard to do without laughing) and her husband were so nice to everybody and really down to earth. When she arrived at the conference, the girls FREAKED out, it was soo funny to watch. They broke into a ‘Hoya hoya, dama do bling’ welcome song and started dancing with her. Then she gave her little motivational talk (did you know she has a law degree?) and signed autographs and took pictures with everyone. At night, she gave a private concert for the girls. There were these two girls who knew like all of the backup dancer moves, so they became her little backup dancers. I had about 10 girls trying to teach me how to ‘mexer’ or move my torso/hips like white girls are not made to do. So much fun. So everyone should youtube my new celebrity friend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAUREN!!!!!!!!!

I have officially been in Mozambique for 6 months! It really does not seem like that long. The first trimester is already over! How did my students fare? Not so well. After some extra credit, and a small ‘chalk it up to the teacher who doesn’t speak Portuguese well’ curve, between 60-85% of the students have passing grades in each of my classes. Everyone said the first trimester would be rough, and it definitely was. But I definitely learned a lot and have many things I plan on changing next trimester.

Hmm I feel like a lot of stuff has been happening here lately, so for lack of a better way to organize, I’m going to bullet point:

- Becky and I got a dog. His name is Rama. He may look cute, but don’t be fooled. I am not a dog person. But then we had the kitchen robbery incident and a creepy person looking in our window, so we decided it’d be a good idea to scare people off. So our colleague had a 6 month old puppy he was looking to get rid of, we just had to get a car over there to pick him up. So our friend graciously agrees to take us in the car he’s borrowing from his boss. We pick up the dog and Becky’s in the backseat trying to keep it calm (She is more of a comforter than I am!). About 5 mins into the trip, we hear “&@*# (that’s censored for you, mom!), it’s peeing all over me!” Pee can be cleaned up, so not that big of a deal, our friend tells us. 5 mins later… “$@*&” I look back. All over Becky, the seat, my backpack…intestinal throw up. I don’t know what he ate that morning but oooh my goodness it was the grossest thing I have ever seen slash smelled. I of course, burst out laughing, the completely wrong reaction to this situation. I was just thinking to myself, this couldn’t possibly be going any worse. When we finally arrive home, I find out yes it can, the dog also pooped in the car. Needless to say, Becky and I felt horrible and I don’t think the smell will ever completely come out of the car. Since our horribly first day, Rama has ran away multiple times, chased chickens and made small children cry. This dog is making our old dog Max look good!
- Got evacuated for a cyclone. Peace Corps told us there was a cyclone that was going to hit our coast, so we had to travel about 4 hours south to Xai-Xai to get out of the path. We got this text Friday afternoon, but it was already close to dark, so they said we should leave Saturday morning. So Saturday morning, skeptical of the sunny day we were having, we pack up, make arrangements for Rama, and get a ride heading south. About 30 mins into our trip, we get another text, saying ‘never mind, not going to hit, you don’t have to leave.’ At this point, I was all mentally prepared for a fun excursion, so we decided to just go to Xai-Xai and make it a beach day. So Becky and I spent a few hours at the beach, met up with some other volunteers who were also spending their cyclone evacuation at the beach, and got invited to stay the night at their house. All in all it was a fun weekend, got to see other PCV’s houses and city, and returned the next day. I felt really bad for the people who had left at 2 in the morning to avoid the slight rain and breeze that was definitely not a cyclone.
- My favorite brown-nosing student. So I spent a day a few weeks ago doing a brainstorming session with my students about things I can do better as a teacher and they can do better as students to improve things. This came right after a particularly bad test. So we’re talking about what I can do better (very little discussion here, I think they’re all scared of me), but one kid is like ‘Speak better Portuguese.’ And I’m like ‘OK, good, are you guys having trouble understanding my Portuguese? I am going to study hard to try to improve it.’ And then my favorite suck up pipes up and says ‘No, teacher, we understand you just fine.’ Riiiight. Any more suggestions for what the teacher can do? Same kid: ‘Give more homework!’ Now the other kids start throwing him dirty looks. We’re now onto what students can do to improve things. This kid is now on a roll. ‘Study more!’ ‘Don’t be disruptive in the classroom’ ‘Respect the teacher!’ Every time, he’s like straining reaching his hand in the air and he jumps up and yells the next thing before anyone else can talk. My favorite of his suggestions: ‘Have good hygiene and tuck in your shirt. Then we will learn better.’

am i still in mozambique?

I'm at "In Service Training" this week and kind of in shock. I'm used to my cold showers, same kind of food all the time, and just living with Becky. We're spending the week in a beautiful resort with HOT showers, wonderful buffet (which I used to be against, but now I see the wonder of the buffet as I go back for 4 different desserts) and everyone from the Southern region is here. The first day was great, because we got together with everyone from education to talk about how the first trimester is going. It was really interesting to here how people are dealing with different challenges, and I am renewed to go back to school and be way more strict! I usually let people come in late because I feel bad, but they never try that with Mozambican teachers, so I am ready to be mean! Today we started project development stuff. We were supposed to do this with a Mozambican counterpart from our school. Our person had some trouble getting down here (not exactly sure still why it took 2 full days to get here), so she missed everything we did today. Becky and I are thinking about working with the girls group at the school, and I am also really interested in starting a science fair.

I visited my host family in Namaacha this weekend. It was really fun to see the kids! It kind of felt like I had never left. As soon as I get there, it's like 'oh wow, your backpack is dirty!' and 'are you sure you washed your whole body and not just your face and feet?' So one full day there was plenty!! Oh man, it's goign to be hard to go back to site after this week!